Whew. Tears fill my eyes as I tap out a post on a dusty blog at the white distressed farmhouse table Jason built me.
Looking out the bay windows, I can see the tops of the Rocky Mountains. The farthest range covered with snow and the closer range reminding us of what Denver winter’s are really all about: sunshine on sunshine on sunshine.
Last time we chatted on this little slice of the internet, I blogged about my feelings of the kids going back to school. It’s the end of the calendar year, so clearly this whole blogging thing hasn’t exactly been my numero uno.
I feel like a stronger, bit of a changed woman from back then.
Less of a need to apologize and an increased desire to be real and just who I am.
August had me a bit of a wreck. We had just moved across town, [our seventh move in our nine years of marriage] and I had recently plunged myself back into the full-time workforce. I felt weary, got stomach ulcers from stress and had no damn idea how to do it all.
The honest truth was I simply couldn’t.
I couldn’t be the mom, wife, friend, daughter or sister I wanted to be.
I couldn’t juggle it all. It was an illusion I had longed for for so long, only to be largely disappointed. A whole lot less to do with the job, a whole lot more to do with my life stage — gaining 10 Ibs. on my petite frame from too many dinners out to count was simply the tip of the iceberg. [Read more…]