Yep. The cat’s outta the bag. We’re having another GIRL.
But maybe not in the way that you might expect.
Many of you will remember that Jason and I have been in the adoption process for about 4 years now. We had always been in an international adoption program, and had a little boy, J, that we were pursuing becoming his parents.
We had everything together: fingerprints, background checks, home study and Dossier (the big packet of paperwork for international adoption). Our Dossier even made it to Haiti. Then, in December, I was chatting with our adoption worker and she let me know that little J wouldn’t be able to come home for at least 3 years. J is already 6, he was 4 when we started pursuing him. With the consideration that little J would be at least 9 years old when he came home to us, Jason and I knew we had a lot of thinking and praying to do.
With our biological children being ages 3, 5 and 7, it was now feeling like a fog of emotions coming over us. As a trained therapist and former adoption counselor, I knew all too well the effects of institutionalization as well as the unfortunate likelihood of multiple kind abuses, especially him having lived there for 9 years.
So we prayed. We talked. We prayed some more.
And we came to this conclusion: another family will be able to love little J more fully, right where he’s at. He doesn’t know we exist, and although he will always have a special place in our hearts, we would rather him feel entirely part of a family than like he was always be watched or wondering what trauma might bubble up with his siblings.
And then we prayed. We talked. And prayed some more.
Charlotte, ever since she knew we were adopting at age 2, has been saying “When my sister comes home…” “I can’t wait to have a sister!” and after a medical procedure and always having specified a boy to adopt, we’d kindly correct her, but also scratching our heads wondering if she knew something we didn’t. Had God whispered something to her heart long before we’d ever know this path we were going to be on?
We decided to do foster to adopt. For a girl in the age range of 0-4.
Foster to adopt means that you are foster parents and can have multiple “placements”, but that you are open to adopting one of them, should the parental rights be terminated.
Jason and I will only ever have one girl in our home at a time (you get to choose this, the age range and when your worker calls, you can either accept or pass on a placement). We are looking at it as an amazing opportunity to love on a little girl or girls, as well as their parents.
We are looking at it as a chance to let a little girl know how utterly loved she is, first by the Creator of the universe and the Pursuer of her heart. That she is valued. Accepted. Beautiful. Wanted.
We know there will likely be many challenges ahead, but are confident, excited (and yes, a bit scared) for this new chapter.
We will likely get a little girl sometime in May. The average “stay” of a young (under 5) foster child here in Colorado is around 6 months to two years. The goal of the state is always reunification with the parents, but sometimes that doesn’t always work out.
We will be dancing the fine line of cheering the biological parents on in their journey’s of treatment, healthy relationships and knowing who they are in Christ with wanting another daughter for our family.
Going into this understanding and preparing our hearts that we will statistically care for 3 or 4 little girls before we get to adopt one of them will be a constant reminder of our dependency and trust in our good + sovereign God.
I’ll keep you all posted and we thank you in advance for your support and love!